Being 35 and Still Dreaming About New York

There is something about turning 35 that makes you look at your dreams a little differently.

Not necessarily because you want them any less. Sometimes, it's almost the opposite. You know yourself better. You have more life experience. You know what makes you happy, what doesn't, and what you're no longer willing to accept just to fit someone else's idea of what your life should look like.

And somehow, I still find myself dreaming about New York.

Not in the same way I did in my twenties. The dream has changed with me.

Why New York Still Feels Like My Dream

For me, New York has always represented something much bigger than a city. It was the life I had in my head and in my heart.

New York represents renewal, a new beginning, change. It represents the possibility of starting a different chapter and, in a way, coming back to life while actually being happy.

That's probably why the dream never really disappeared. It isn't just about living in New York. It's about what New York represents to me and the life I associate with it.

And at 35, I still want that life

I Don't Think We Are Supposed to Stop Dreaming

I think we are given a strange idea of what is supposed to happen as we get older.

At some point, you are expected to become “settled.” You have a certain age, a certain career, a relationship, a home, a certain version of stability. And when your life doesn't fit those boxes, you notice it.

Especially as a woman.

There is still so much pressure around the things women are supposed to have figured out by a certain age. And when you don't check those boxes, society has a way of pointing them out and making you feel like you should explain yourself.

Wanting to leave everything behind and live your dreams somewhere else can even be seen as selfish.

But why?

Why should choosing yourself automatically mean you're being selfish?

My life is mine. The choices I make about it don't need to make sense to everyone else.

My Dream Has Changed With Me

My dream of New York was much more blurry in my twenties. There were so many things I didn't know about myself yet, and so many things I wanted without really knowing why. I could imagine the life, but I didn't necessarily understand what I actually wanted that life to feel like.

Being in my 30s has made things clearer. Life experience has a way of doing that.

I know more about what I want, what I don't want, and what actually matters to me now. And that has changed my vision of New York too.

It's not a Pinterest vision board anymore. The things I imagine now feel real.

I Want Freedom

One of the biggest things I want from this life is freedom and independence. I want the space to live my life from my own point of view instead of constantly wondering what other people think I should be doing.

And honestly, I want to stop trying to please everyone.

I didn't necessarily understand the importance of that when I was younger. Now I do.

Maybe that's one of the things that comes with getting older: realizing that you don't actually have to build a life that looks good from the outside if it doesn't feel good to you.

Am I Too Old to Start Again?

Yes, I've wondered about it. Of course I have.

Society can make you feel like once you reach your 30s, you are already on some kind of expiration timeline. There are things you're supposed to have done by then, things you're supposed to stop wanting, and things you're supposed to accept as “just how life is.”

But I don't believe that anymore.

It takes strength and courage to push back against that and give yourself another chance. And I think we sometimes forget something very simple: life is still life in your 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond.

Dreams don't suddenly become invalid because you didn't achieve them at the age you originally imagined. Sometimes they happen later.

And that's okay.

What I Feel When I Imagine My Life in New York

Freedom is the first thing that comes to mind, followed by happiness.

Not some perfect, imaginary version of happiness. Just the feeling that comes with finally being able to live the life that feels right for me.

That's what makes the dream still feel so alive.

I don't look at New York and see some distant fantasy anymore. I see a life: a home, ordinary days, independence, and all the little things that make a life feel like yours.

And maybe that's why the dream has become stronger with age rather than disappearing. I understand what I'm dreaming about now.

There Is No Expiration Date on Starting Over

I think we spend too much time believing that life has to happen in the right order. That there is a deadline for finding love, a deadline for changing careers, a deadline for moving somewhere new, and a deadline for starting again.

But life doesn't work that way.

There can be new beginnings at any age, dreams that take years to become real, and versions of yourself you haven't even met yet.

And maybe that's what I want to remember most at 35: never say never.

Life is full of new beginnings. Age is just a number. You can still change direction, take a chance on yourself, and build a life that feels like yours.

You can still dream, even when life doesn't happen according to the timeline you once imagined. And for me, that's reason enough to keep going.

But what has New York actually taught me about being in my 30s?

In the final article of the series "What New York Has Taught Me About Being in My 30s", I reflect on what this city has taught me about growing older, changing direction, and creating a life that feels like my own..

Image Credit By (1) Ansaf Ahmad, (2) Georgi Kalaydzhie, (3) Bassem Abdeisayed on Unsplash

Written by Laura

Creator of Live Your Dreams Fully, a website exploring NYC daily life POV, seasonal moments, weekly city updates, and short stories inspired by New York City.